Dear Papa Jon…

Q:

I want to be on wheel of fortune. How do I get there?
Yours,
Getme Money

A:

Hello, Getme Money!
First, I would have to say that you should drop out of school and start studying all and any phrases that you can think of. Then send in your audition tape to the Wheel of Fortune people and show them how fun you are (make yourself for television). Finally, stalk the producers of Wheel of Fortune and force them to give you a spot on the TV show.
Hope that helps,
Papa Jon

Q:

We are only four weeks into the quarter and I am already our of meal plan money… what should I do?
HELP,
Hungry Student

A:

Hello, H. Student.
I am very sorry to hear about your dilemma… my only suggestion is that there is a lot of leftover food in the conpost bins throughout campus. Take the squirrels on campus as an example and climb on in to get your next meal.
Fill that belly up,
Papa Jon

Q:

I just heard that Grey’s Anatomy is renewed for two more seasons… How am I supposed to deal with the drama to come?
Forever team Derek,
M. Grey

A:

Good day, M. Grey,
Just like the tracheotomy in the last episode, you got to take it slow and get through it piece by piece. That is until the show bleeds out and dies. We will just have to wait to see the train wreck (or plane wreck if you know what I mean) continue.
We are in this together,
P. Jon

To submit a question, go to http://ask.fm/DearPapaJon. I can’t wait to hear from you all!! Love, Papa Jon

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