The Guidance Counselor On Relationships

Emily is not a licensed guidance counselor, but neither was Ann Landers.


Q:

Every time I’m with him I feel so happy and have a great time. Every time I’m not with him I think about all the things wrong about our relationship. I love him but I constantly think about breaking up. What is wrong with me?


A:

Nothing’s wrong with you, it’s easy to fixate on the bad if you’re not presently distracted by his redeeming qualities. Are you long distance? I know that if there’s that aspect, then the bad seems exaggerated. You’re less of an assclown to wait it out, erring on the side of staying with him and being sure that you wanna break up than if you dump him on a bad day and regret it later. That said, regret is a super common reaction after breaking up with someone, but that doesn’t mean it was a bad decision. Decide what your deal breakers are, talk to him about what you want to be different, and be explicit but considerate. This goes for if you want to stay in the relationship or break up with him, because it’s pretty unfair to dump someone without providing the opportunity to work on it. If you’ve been asking for reasonable treatment that’s not being met and/or you’re sick of his ish, or if he is consistently disrespectful to you, then maybe you know the answer. Try asking yourself different questions. Also, it’s low-key unfair to him to be dating someone who doesn’t want to be with him, so
consider that, too.


Q:

How do I convince my girlfriend to have anal sex?


A:

Wtf, you don’t! You can express your interest, talk about your fantasies together, and ask her if she’s into it. If she’s definitely opposed then you’ve gotta respect those boundaries and drop it. It’s exhausting and grimy to be dating someone who won’t let stuff like that go. Maybe you can find a middle ground by being sexually experimental in a way you’re both down.


Toodle-oo,
Emily

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